Self Confidence
Topic: Self Confidence
Self-esteem and Self-confidence
Think back to when you did something new for the first time. Self-confidence isn’t always what we think it is. Many experts distinguish between self-confidence on one side and self-esteem on the other. Self-confidence is about what we can do by virtue of our efforts. What we are good and bad at. The self-confidence grows along with the quality of the effort.
Self-esteem is more fundamental and is about the feeling of being worth something, just because we are who we are, and not because we have done something. A good sports man can have a huge success and self-confidence, because he’s good at his sport. In the same time his self-esteem can be low, if his parents have never acknowledged and treasured him for the person he is deep inside, but only for his sporty performances.
To recognize a healthy and well-developed self-confidence is when you feel well-balanced and comfortable. A bad self-confidence shows as a constant feeling of insecurity, self-criticism and sense of guilt. If you have a healthy self-esteem, it’s very rare you’ll have problems with a low self-confidence.
What is Self Esteem ?
Self esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It is based on your attitude to the following:
• Your value as a person
• The course/job you do
• Your achievements
• How you think others see you
• Your background
• Your purpose in life
• Your place in the world
• Your potential for success
• Your strengths and weaknesses
• Your social status and how you relate to others
• Your independence or ability to stand on your own feet
I think this sums it up but you may be able to add a few other important factors I have not included here.
What is Low Self Esteem?
Low self esteem results from you having a poor self image caused by your attitude to one or more of the above. Example: you do not value the job you do highly or you feel you have no purpose in your life.
What is High Self Esteem?
High self esteem is the opposite! It is a very important aspect of your life. If you have a high level you will be confident, happy and sure of yourself. You would be highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed.
Self esteem is therefore crucial to you and is a cornerstone of a positive attitude towards living.
CNN INTERVIEW WITH RICHARD WAGNER:
"What is the most important thing for a person starting out on the road to success?"
"I would tell them the most important thing is to work on your self esteem, that's the best advice I can give"
(CNN interview with Larry King 2002)
Build self-esteem if you were not born with it
Some people just have it, as if they were born to it. To talk in front of a crowd of people, sell themselves at job interviews or to start an interesting conversation with people they’ve never met before. There is comfort for you, if you don’t belong to this category.
Self-confidence isn’t something you receive as a birth gift. It’s something you develop gradually as you turn over the pages of the thick book of life. If you work goal-directed to improve your belief in yourself, you’ll eventually built up your courage to do what self-assured people find natural, instead of generating heart throb, breathing difficulties and sweaty hands.
Self-confidence is an important part of your baggage. Without it, life will be a constant evasive action controlled by fear and inferiority complexes. It’ll be harder to archive what you want, just because the thought of how impossible it might seem, will make you turn in the wrong direction. Many people have such an ill self-confidence that they - through life - avoid doing things they dream about and need. Some of them have always been told “You can’t do it” or “take care, it will fail.” If it’s some of the most important people in your life, i.e. your parents, who has been the negative judges in your life, it’s especially bad.
A child with a yet so blank identity has blind confidence that the parents are fantastic and always right. The child will very fast take over the parents “You can’t do it”- tune and play it over and over in the mind as if it’s a forever truth. If we don’t believe that we can and dare, we avoid certain situations because of the fear to fail. Then we will never proof to ourselves and to others that we actually can.
Many aim lower than they actually should in their career. They avoid an exam because they are afraid of bad grades and hereby prove that they can’t do it. Or they search for a job with a lower risk. Our way of thinking is very important. If we constantly think in failures there’s a huge risk that we unconsciously head straight for it.
People with low self-esteem listen to other people’s opinions and rules, instead of listening to their own needs and wishes. Perhaps they do something to please others. Perhaps they don’t do anything because they fear the reactions from others. Or they might be individualists and will rather do things on their own.
If you’re ‘invisible’ you’ll never get the chance to say what you mean, who you are, and what you can. Then others have to guess and that creates misunderstandings. You won’t receive very much feedback from your surroundings. It creates insecurity about what others think of you and again there is a high breeding ground for guessing and ghost images.
Regardless of fear and shyness you’ll have to get out of your hiding to improve your self-confidence. Be more visible to your surroundings. Do something else, than you use to. Break the vicious circle of negative, self-fulfilling prophecies and try yourself in different situations. We have all many great abilities that just have to be exposed.
Easy and Practical Self confidence tips
Confidence is an attribute that is alluring, attractive, valuable, desirable and contagious. Most everyone aspires to greater levels of it, even if they feel confident most of the time. It is a trait that will help us create greater results for ourselves and when leading others. Any trait with this much benefit is one worth developing. And yes, you can develop and strengthen your confidence.
Everybody needs a confidence boost sometimes, so here are a few tips...
1) Feel Good when you want
When you need to boost your self confidence or self esteem, find 3 things that make you feel good. These could be memories of good times, a piece of music, a holiday souvenir, or a person's face - use photos if it helps. Practice thinking about them and bringing them to mind.
Developing self confidence that lasts - because of the way emotions 'attach' themselves to memories, you will quickly train yourself to feel good when you want - a great help.
2) Beat Self Consciousness
Self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. Learn how to keep your attention off yourself. You can do this easily by following these steps...
a) If you notice you have become self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something 'everyday' you can see and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of color, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.
b) If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's usually because you don't have enough to do! Focus on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:
• find out if you like the other people in the situation
• make others feel comfortable
• find out some information
• make business contacts
• And so on...
It's easy to feel self-conscious if you have nothing to do, and much more difficult if your attention is occupied by a task.
Think how comfortable you have been with others when you're all working toward a common goal. The common goal of socializing could be making friends, it could be the exchange of mutually beneficial information, it could be whatever you want it to be!
3) Don't Take Undue Criticism - Even From Yourself!
Challenge your own assumptions. Here's a few to get you started:
a) Confident-looking people have bad moments too.
b) Just because you feel under-confident, doesn't mean other people can tell.
c) If you're saying things to yourself like "You're no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, and eat without choking. Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image.
Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!
d) Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays built!
e) Learn how to develop your self confidence and notice the small differences as they happen. Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Beating low self esteem is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine.
4) Remind yourself of past successes.
Confidence builds on past success. Since you have had success before, you can (and will) have it again. We strengthen our confidence in any activity when we review or remind ourselves of past successes. If you are trying to build confidence in a new area, past success can still help us strengthen our confidence. For example, if you have had success in doing something new in the past, review those experiences when trying something else new - even if it is in an entirely different part of your life.
2) Read and listen to positive materials.
Fill your mind with positive and affirming words, ideas and stories. Read things that enhances your skills or knowledge in the area in which you want to build your confidence. Read materials that are generally uplifting and affirming, and read biographies of successful people. You will find that many of them had troubles in life, came from tough situations and still succeeded. If you have ever thought, "Well, if they can do, I could too." Then you realize that we can build our confidence by reading about others stories. Reading and listening to positive materials is about reinforcement, encouragement, and learning. All three of these components are needed for greater confidence.
3) See your future success.
Olympic athletes, corporate executives, and successful people in all sorts of endeavors visualize future success. Confidence will grow when we see ourselves succeeding. Think about it, if you know you will succeed, your confidence will soar, right? Visualizing future success does that very thing for us. Our minds cannot tell the difference between something real and something vividly imagined. So vividly visualize your success. What will it look like, smell like, and taste like to have succeeded? Who will be with you, what will you be hearing and where will you be? How will you be feeling at that moment? Putting this much detail into your vivid picture improves the likelihood of success, and supports greater confidence!
4) Reframe failure.
Thomas Edison spent a long time trying to create an incandescent light bulb - to create light from electricity. He is attributed with saying, "I have not failed, I have discovered twelve hundred materials that don't work." 1,200! Perhaps you feel you can reframe your failures as learning experiences - as a chance to find out what doesn't work. But would you be able to do so 1,200 times? Know that failures will occur - and your confidence won't be as shaken when they come. Use the failures as an opportunity to learn. Realize that every failure puts you that much closer to success. When we reframe our failure as a learning experience we reduce our fear and increase our confidence.
5) Take confident actions.
You wanted confidence to help you try and succeed in new ways, right? So get out there and get at it! You have to put your confidence to the test. You have to practice. And, while you are taking action, make it confident action! Remember that if you act confident, you will be more confident. Review the other steps you have been taking to build your confidence. If you are driving towards your new action step, remind yourself of past successes, again. Visualize the successful outcome, again. Build your confidence at every step of the way, but remember it all must lead to action.
These steps are a regimen for strengthening and building your confidence in any life situation. Use these steps and I am confident, you will be more confident.
WORDS OF INSPIRATION
Increase your self esteem and your sense of self worth, read these quotes and reflect on their meaning:
- Living:
Words of inspiration can inspire you daily read them and speak them often!
- Self esteem and happiness:
• Listen to your inner voice and follow them for it is wisdom that knows what is best for you.
• Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
• Think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best-you deserve nothing less.
• Care about the happiness and success of others and offer them all the help and encouragement they need.
• Forget your past mistakes and focus on your successes encouraging yourself to greater achievements in the future.
• Always do your best so you can be proud that you gave it your best shot.
• When you help someone ask nothing in return, you will receive your reward ten times over.
Make the most of each day
A bank credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance to tomorrow. Every evening you lose the balance you failed to use during the day.
What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course!!!!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off what you have failed to invest.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back.
Invest it so as to improve get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of life today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
Treasure every moment! Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!
Self-esteem and Self-confidence
Think back to when you did something new for the first time. Self-confidence isn’t always what we think it is. Many experts distinguish between self-confidence on one side and self-esteem on the other. Self-confidence is about what we can do by virtue of our efforts. What we are good and bad at. The self-confidence grows along with the quality of the effort.
Self-esteem is more fundamental and is about the feeling of being worth something, just because we are who we are, and not because we have done something. A good sports man can have a huge success and self-confidence, because he’s good at his sport. In the same time his self-esteem can be low, if his parents have never acknowledged and treasured him for the person he is deep inside, but only for his sporty performances.
To recognize a healthy and well-developed self-confidence is when you feel well-balanced and comfortable. A bad self-confidence shows as a constant feeling of insecurity, self-criticism and sense of guilt. If you have a healthy self-esteem, it’s very rare you’ll have problems with a low self-confidence.
What is Self Esteem ?
Self esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It is based on your attitude to the following:
• Your value as a person
• The course/job you do
• Your achievements
• How you think others see you
• Your background
• Your purpose in life
• Your place in the world
• Your potential for success
• Your strengths and weaknesses
• Your social status and how you relate to others
• Your independence or ability to stand on your own feet
I think this sums it up but you may be able to add a few other important factors I have not included here.
What is Low Self Esteem?
Low self esteem results from you having a poor self image caused by your attitude to one or more of the above. Example: you do not value the job you do highly or you feel you have no purpose in your life.
What is High Self Esteem?
High self esteem is the opposite! It is a very important aspect of your life. If you have a high level you will be confident, happy and sure of yourself. You would be highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed.
Self esteem is therefore crucial to you and is a cornerstone of a positive attitude towards living.
CNN INTERVIEW WITH RICHARD WAGNER:
"What is the most important thing for a person starting out on the road to success?"
"I would tell them the most important thing is to work on your self esteem, that's the best advice I can give"
(CNN interview with Larry King 2002)
Build self-esteem if you were not born with it
Some people just have it, as if they were born to it. To talk in front of a crowd of people, sell themselves at job interviews or to start an interesting conversation with people they’ve never met before. There is comfort for you, if you don’t belong to this category.
Self-confidence isn’t something you receive as a birth gift. It’s something you develop gradually as you turn over the pages of the thick book of life. If you work goal-directed to improve your belief in yourself, you’ll eventually built up your courage to do what self-assured people find natural, instead of generating heart throb, breathing difficulties and sweaty hands.
Self-confidence is an important part of your baggage. Without it, life will be a constant evasive action controlled by fear and inferiority complexes. It’ll be harder to archive what you want, just because the thought of how impossible it might seem, will make you turn in the wrong direction. Many people have such an ill self-confidence that they - through life - avoid doing things they dream about and need. Some of them have always been told “You can’t do it” or “take care, it will fail.” If it’s some of the most important people in your life, i.e. your parents, who has been the negative judges in your life, it’s especially bad.
A child with a yet so blank identity has blind confidence that the parents are fantastic and always right. The child will very fast take over the parents “You can’t do it”- tune and play it over and over in the mind as if it’s a forever truth. If we don’t believe that we can and dare, we avoid certain situations because of the fear to fail. Then we will never proof to ourselves and to others that we actually can.
Many aim lower than they actually should in their career. They avoid an exam because they are afraid of bad grades and hereby prove that they can’t do it. Or they search for a job with a lower risk. Our way of thinking is very important. If we constantly think in failures there’s a huge risk that we unconsciously head straight for it.
People with low self-esteem listen to other people’s opinions and rules, instead of listening to their own needs and wishes. Perhaps they do something to please others. Perhaps they don’t do anything because they fear the reactions from others. Or they might be individualists and will rather do things on their own.
If you’re ‘invisible’ you’ll never get the chance to say what you mean, who you are, and what you can. Then others have to guess and that creates misunderstandings. You won’t receive very much feedback from your surroundings. It creates insecurity about what others think of you and again there is a high breeding ground for guessing and ghost images.
Regardless of fear and shyness you’ll have to get out of your hiding to improve your self-confidence. Be more visible to your surroundings. Do something else, than you use to. Break the vicious circle of negative, self-fulfilling prophecies and try yourself in different situations. We have all many great abilities that just have to be exposed.
Easy and Practical Self confidence tips
Confidence is an attribute that is alluring, attractive, valuable, desirable and contagious. Most everyone aspires to greater levels of it, even if they feel confident most of the time. It is a trait that will help us create greater results for ourselves and when leading others. Any trait with this much benefit is one worth developing. And yes, you can develop and strengthen your confidence.
Everybody needs a confidence boost sometimes, so here are a few tips...
1) Feel Good when you want
When you need to boost your self confidence or self esteem, find 3 things that make you feel good. These could be memories of good times, a piece of music, a holiday souvenir, or a person's face - use photos if it helps. Practice thinking about them and bringing them to mind.
Developing self confidence that lasts - because of the way emotions 'attach' themselves to memories, you will quickly train yourself to feel good when you want - a great help.
2) Beat Self Consciousness
Self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. Learn how to keep your attention off yourself. You can do this easily by following these steps...
a) If you notice you have become self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something 'everyday' you can see and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of color, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.
b) If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's usually because you don't have enough to do! Focus on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:
• find out if you like the other people in the situation
• make others feel comfortable
• find out some information
• make business contacts
• And so on...
It's easy to feel self-conscious if you have nothing to do, and much more difficult if your attention is occupied by a task.
Think how comfortable you have been with others when you're all working toward a common goal. The common goal of socializing could be making friends, it could be the exchange of mutually beneficial information, it could be whatever you want it to be!
3) Don't Take Undue Criticism - Even From Yourself!
Challenge your own assumptions. Here's a few to get you started:
a) Confident-looking people have bad moments too.
b) Just because you feel under-confident, doesn't mean other people can tell.
c) If you're saying things to yourself like "You're no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, and eat without choking. Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image.
Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!
d) Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays built!
e) Learn how to develop your self confidence and notice the small differences as they happen. Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Beating low self esteem is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine.
4) Remind yourself of past successes.
Confidence builds on past success. Since you have had success before, you can (and will) have it again. We strengthen our confidence in any activity when we review or remind ourselves of past successes. If you are trying to build confidence in a new area, past success can still help us strengthen our confidence. For example, if you have had success in doing something new in the past, review those experiences when trying something else new - even if it is in an entirely different part of your life.
2) Read and listen to positive materials.
Fill your mind with positive and affirming words, ideas and stories. Read things that enhances your skills or knowledge in the area in which you want to build your confidence. Read materials that are generally uplifting and affirming, and read biographies of successful people. You will find that many of them had troubles in life, came from tough situations and still succeeded. If you have ever thought, "Well, if they can do, I could too." Then you realize that we can build our confidence by reading about others stories. Reading and listening to positive materials is about reinforcement, encouragement, and learning. All three of these components are needed for greater confidence.
3) See your future success.
Olympic athletes, corporate executives, and successful people in all sorts of endeavors visualize future success. Confidence will grow when we see ourselves succeeding. Think about it, if you know you will succeed, your confidence will soar, right? Visualizing future success does that very thing for us. Our minds cannot tell the difference between something real and something vividly imagined. So vividly visualize your success. What will it look like, smell like, and taste like to have succeeded? Who will be with you, what will you be hearing and where will you be? How will you be feeling at that moment? Putting this much detail into your vivid picture improves the likelihood of success, and supports greater confidence!
4) Reframe failure.
Thomas Edison spent a long time trying to create an incandescent light bulb - to create light from electricity. He is attributed with saying, "I have not failed, I have discovered twelve hundred materials that don't work." 1,200! Perhaps you feel you can reframe your failures as learning experiences - as a chance to find out what doesn't work. But would you be able to do so 1,200 times? Know that failures will occur - and your confidence won't be as shaken when they come. Use the failures as an opportunity to learn. Realize that every failure puts you that much closer to success. When we reframe our failure as a learning experience we reduce our fear and increase our confidence.
5) Take confident actions.
You wanted confidence to help you try and succeed in new ways, right? So get out there and get at it! You have to put your confidence to the test. You have to practice. And, while you are taking action, make it confident action! Remember that if you act confident, you will be more confident. Review the other steps you have been taking to build your confidence. If you are driving towards your new action step, remind yourself of past successes, again. Visualize the successful outcome, again. Build your confidence at every step of the way, but remember it all must lead to action.
These steps are a regimen for strengthening and building your confidence in any life situation. Use these steps and I am confident, you will be more confident.
WORDS OF INSPIRATION
Increase your self esteem and your sense of self worth, read these quotes and reflect on their meaning:
- Living:
Words of inspiration can inspire you daily read them and speak them often!
- Self esteem and happiness:
• Listen to your inner voice and follow them for it is wisdom that knows what is best for you.
• Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
• Think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best-you deserve nothing less.
• Care about the happiness and success of others and offer them all the help and encouragement they need.
• Forget your past mistakes and focus on your successes encouraging yourself to greater achievements in the future.
• Always do your best so you can be proud that you gave it your best shot.
• When you help someone ask nothing in return, you will receive your reward ten times over.
Make the most of each day
A bank credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance to tomorrow. Every evening you lose the balance you failed to use during the day.
What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course!!!!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off what you have failed to invest.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back.
Invest it so as to improve get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of life today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
Treasure every moment! Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!
posted by alexiuslubega at 3:21 PM
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